Just kidding. But seriously.
Besides, my kids are freakishly early risers as it is. We had to get one of those okay-to-wake clocks to convince our three year old to stay in bed longer. She wakes up around 5 and then just lies there staring at it until exactly 6:30 when the light comes on, compelling her to begin yelling as loudly as her little lungs will allow, "MOMMYDADDY MY LIGHT TURNED GREEEEEEEEEEEEEN MOMMYDADDY IT'S GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN MOMMYDADDY -"
"CAROLINA FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY JUST GET UP YOU DON'T HAVE TO ASK US AND IF YOU WAKE YOUR SISTER UP SO HELP ME -"
(Don't you wish we would adopt you?)
So I'm afraid if I tried to get up earlier they would know.
They always know.
The nice thing is that they're getting to an age at which they follow directions well enough that we're starting to be able to do a lot more stuff with them so I thought, you know what? I'll do a workout video after dinner and they can just do it with me! They'll love it! In fact, by creating positive memories of exercising with their mom I will surely be steering them down the path to lifelong health! I AM SUCH A GOOD PARENT!
Of course after trying it I now know that what will actually happen any time they consider working out is that they'll be bombarded with images of the heartless monster in a sweaty topknot who refused to pick them up for 28 whole minutes in a row even though they made their most pathetic HOW COULD YOU DO THIS I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME face and screamed until their heads looked like giant roasted beets.
Mmm beets...a little goat cheese, some pistachios, a little vinaigrette action...ya feel me?
Back to my point...my expectations may have been a hair short of realistic. Guess I can't work out ever okay bye.
* I didn't work out before I had kids either...I slept. MAN I miss that.
The nice thing is that they're getting to an age at which they follow directions well enough that we're starting to be able to do a lot more stuff with them so I thought, you know what? I'll do a workout video after dinner and they can just do it with me! They'll love it! In fact, by creating positive memories of exercising with their mom I will surely be steering them down the path to lifelong health! I AM SUCH A GOOD PARENT!
Of course after trying it I now know that what will actually happen any time they consider working out is that they'll be bombarded with images of the heartless monster in a sweaty topknot who refused to pick them up for 28 whole minutes in a row even though they made their most pathetic HOW COULD YOU DO THIS I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME face and screamed until their heads looked like giant roasted beets.
Mmm beets...a little goat cheese, some pistachios, a little vinaigrette action...ya feel me?
Back to my point...my expectations may have been a hair short of realistic. Guess I can't work out ever okay bye.
* I didn't work out before I had kids either...I slept. MAN I miss that.
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